I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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