This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
