$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
