we have pet lesbian snakes
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
