my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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