Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
