I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
