Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
