sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
