i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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