My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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