dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
