i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
