I wish I could teleport
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
