I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
How's work?
Spinning.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
