it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
