He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
