you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
