I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Your tits are I can't wait for
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize