Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Randomize