I bet he comes in French.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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