i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
