I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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