hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I could fuck to npr.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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