maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
so much tequila, so little girl.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
