Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
