Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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