I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I wish they made helmets for livers.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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