I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
