What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
