the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize