She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
