The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
