is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
