no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
