he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Randomize
