who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
