Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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