You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
