This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
