Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
