It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
