You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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