i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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