Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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