Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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