when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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