All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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