Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
