fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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