porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
