member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
