yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
